Marriage is a Private Affair

Subject: English I

Overview

The renowned Nigerian author Achebe describes the Ibo tribe's marriage custom in which getting married is not a private matter. The marriage of their son and daughter was decided by the parents. Nnameka, an Ibo kid, visited Logos Town for academic purposes, where he met Nene, a Christian woman. They were both in love, but Nene was unaware of his traditional Ibo views on marriage. In Ibo culture, parents presided over the wedding and it wasn't allowed to depart from their traditions. When Nene learned that his father had arranged for him to marry a girl from the Ibo culture, she was shocked. She assumed that his father would be unhappy if Nenemeka visited him at home. When Nenemeka said he was engaged to a Christian instructor and declined to marry a girl, his father became very angry and lost his voice. Nenemeka left his home, traveled to Logos, and then he and Nene were wed. Although they lived a nice life in the town, his father didn't care to hear about them at all. He refused to accept the wedding images when they sent them. After a while, they had children, and Nene once wrote to Okeke to say that his grandchildren enjoyed seeing his face. When it was time to play with his friends' grandchildren, Okeke did so as well. He thought he would pass away before seeing his grandchildren. As it began to rain, Okeke worried that his grandchildren might get wet indoors. This implies that he would invite them back to his home.

Marriage is a Private Affair: Chinua Achebe, Nigeria (1930-)

Summary

Chinua Achebe is the author of the short story "Marriage is a Private Affair." The conflict between the older and younger generations is realistically shown in this story, both in Niegerian society specifically and in all communities in general. In actuality, this tale demonstrates the triumph of a younger generation with contemporary values over older traditions.

Nigerian villager Nnaemeka belongs to the Ibo tribe. His father, Okeke, is a very rigid and traditional man. After finishing high school, Nnaemeka moves to the city to pursue higher education. At the university, he develops feelings for Nene, a contemporary woman from a different society. They both reside in Lagos, a Nigerian city. Nene invites Nnaemeka to express his love and engagement to his father through a letter. Nnaemeka, however, refuses to because he fears his own father. Nene, however, does not think that parents will be upset if their son becomes engaged to be married.

On his vacation, Nnaemeka visits his family to persuade his father. However, his father wishes to marry his son to Ibo Christian girl Ugoye Nweke. Nnaemeka firmly informs his father that he loves a girl in the town and rejects his father's advice. The only woman he could marry is her; her name is Nene Atang. She is a teacher and does not identify with the Ibo tribe. Because his father thinks a Christian woman shouldn't teach, he and the other villagers believe Nnaemeka has gone insane and the devil has taken up residence in his head.

After that, Nnaemeka marries Nene in the city. On holidays, he no longer visits his father. He nevertheless sends his father the wedding photo. His father rips the image and returns it. For almost eight years, Nnaemeka and his father, Uekeke, have no contact. Nene has good relationships with Lagos residents. The two sons of Nnaemeka and Nene are. In a letter to Okeke, Nene begs permission for his two grandkids to see their grandfather. She also asks him to look after Nnaemeka and his two kids for a few days while she stays in the city by herself.

When Okeke receives this message, he finds it difficult to control his emotions. He envisions playing with his two grandchildren. His heart begins to feel affection for them all of a sudden. He is aware of his inability to quit loving his helpless grandkids. So he makes the decision to take them into town.

Application of Four Levels

  • Literal Comprehension
    • The conflict between the old and younger generations is depicted in the story. The protagonist of this tale, Nnaemeka, comes from the Ibo ethnic living in a Nigerian hamlet. His father, Okeke, is a very rigid and traditional man. Nnaemeka is a university student who lives in town, Lagos. While there, he falls in love with Nene, a contemporary woman of a different caste and faith. They pledge to live together after getting married since they love each other. With this message, Nnaemeka visits his father in the hamlet and tries to persuade him of his love for Nene. However, his father vehemently rejects it and informs the boy that he has already made up his mind to marry a Christian girl from the Ibo tribe.Nnaemeka responds by saying that Nene is the one girl he loves and marries. He then departs from the countryside and marries Nene in the city. When he sends his father the wedding card, he shreds it. He no longer pays his father visits during the holidays. They don't speak to each other for eight years. Nene cultivates positive relationships with everyone in the community. She informs her father-in-law in a letter one day that his two grandchildren wish to visit him. When Okeke receives this letter, he imagines himself in a play with his two grandkids, and a powerful love springs from his heart. She also suggests that it would be better if he took Nnaemeka and the two kids for a few days. He therefore makes the decision to go get them as soon as feasible.
  • Interpretation
    • Achebe's keen interest in the customs and beliefs of the Ibo people is evident in this novel. Local taste and color are dominant among the conservative and superstitious Ibo people. Okeke is a devout Bible believer. Because Nene works as a teacher in a school, he rejects her as his daughter-in-law. He is unable to accept Nene because she is from a different tribe because of his society. However, his kid Nnaemeka does not adhere to conventional values. The father and son argue because of this. However, the old man is obligated to accept his son and daughter-in-law despite he is upset with them. Thus, this novel asserts that marriage is a private matter while portraying the genuine tension between the old and new generations.
  • Critical Thinking
    • This morally upright and realistic tale illustrates the clash between the older and younger generations. Everyone takes an interest in and takes part in this marriage's affair, in which both parties are required to follow their orders and suggestions. In the story, Okeke follows a dated trend. Nnaemeka breaches the old paradigm and adopts a new one since she believes that marriage is a personal matter. Thoughts are sparse throughout the story, though. Nnaemeka breaches the old paradigm and adopts a new one since she believes that marriage is a personal matter. Some of the story's concepts, meanwhile, are less compelling. Is it possible for a parent to love his tribe more than his son? Does adopting a different culture make someone happy if they go against the social norms, morals, and laws of that society? Can there ever be joy in a secret marriage? We can now clearly observe that unarranged marriages, as opposed to arranged ones, are causing many global problems. Private marital cases experience divorce on a regular basis. How can we use a private marriage as the ideal example in such a situation? When Okeke was unable to persuade his son Nnaemeka to break off his engagement to Nene, he outright rejected his son. How is it possible for a father to reject a son because he doesn't comprehend marriage?
  • Assimilation
    • This story has a lasting impression on me. My family is conservative and traditional in the village, just as Nnaemeka's. I once went to the village and informed the people there that I was getting married to a girl who was educated and had a decent job but belonged to a different caste and religion. However, my parents outright rejected it and instead recommended me to marry a rural girl whose caste and religion are widely acceptable. Rejecting their advice, I returned to Kathmandu and got married to the girl I had fallen in love with. Now that we were able to persuade both my parents, they are spending more time with us in Kathmandu than in our village, and I couldn't be happier for them.

Referance

(Bastakoti, (2007). A Combined Guide To Compulsory English. Kathmandu: Kalyani Prakshan)
Things to remember
  • Chinua Achebe is the author of the short story "Marriage is a Private Affair."
  • The message of the narrative may be that if marriage is conducted in secret and in accordance with personal preference, it becomes happier and more joyous.
  • Parents should refrain from interfering and follow a democratic model. They shouldn't push their opinions on their grown sons and daughters.
  • The conflict between the older and younger generations is realistically shown in this story, both in Niegerian society specifically and in all communities in general.
  • The author generally supports love marriage.

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